


Bitter Melts to Sweet

by AnneScriblerian



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drabble Sequence, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-16
Updated: 2013-07-16
Packaged: 2017-12-20 10:22:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/886130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneScriblerian/pseuds/AnneScriblerian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus Lupin knows that Severus Snape could not hate him more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bitter Melts to Sweet

**Author's Note:**

> Written for rarepair_shorts in 2010 (prompts after section titles). Dedicated to my beloved Poultrygeist. A thank you for giving me the courage to start writing fanfic in the first place

_I. Invisible Line (invisible line)  
Summary: Remus Lupin knows that Severus Snape could not hate him more. _

He had crossed it without even knowing that he had. That invisible line between neutrality and outright enmity. He had hoped to satisfy his friends without inexorably estranging himself from Severus Snape. Surely a Slytherin could understand the concept of self-preservation? But back in their sixth year, he had almost killed Snape. 

He had no memory of the incident, of course. In the years before the Wolfsbane Potion was invented, his transformation into the wolf was complete. But he had heard of it many times, and he carried the guilt of the near-miss with him always. Snape could not hate him more. Remus Lupin was sure of that.

_II. Decline (the decline of all things)  
Summary: Remus falls while Severus rises. _

Entropy is irresistible. Muggle and Wizard alike are subject to the decline of all things. Werewolves are no exception to this rule. In fact, they may understand it better than anyone else. Remus Lupin expected to decline. That didn't mean he liked it. 

When they both were teaching at Hogwarts, Remus had thought that he and Severus were finally building a relationship. A collegial one, if nothing else. The fact that Remus could even get a job was nearly miraculous, due to that Umbridge woman's anti-werewolf legislation. And each month Severus brewed him the Wolfsbane Potion, perfectly. 

The side effects and uneven quality of the commercially available potion made it just a bit better than nothing. That is, when Remus could even afford to buy it. The care with which Severus brewed the potion might indicate another kind of caring. But even as he thought about it, Remus knew that this idea was ridiculous. Severus Snape would consider the perfection of his Wolfsbane Potion to be yet another way to fleer at Remus. Severus was magnificent, with his elaborate robes and his powerful position in two armies. Remus Lupin was an exhausted, ragged wreck who was flouting the law even as he accepted Dumbledore's pity.

Remus Lupin spent a lot of time that year considering how he had declined as Severus had risen. Back when they were the students, Lupin was a prefect. He was a Marauder. He was never as beautiful as Sirius or James, but he was certainly above Peter and the rest of the school. Then, Snape was the ragged one. The desperate one. Remus remembered a young man, crying as he dangled in the air with his yellowed pants being slowly pulled off in front of half of the school. Lupin had said nothing, done nothing. He knew that he was not half the man Severus Snape was. Not now and not then.

When Snape revealed Lupin's true nature to the world, Remus said nothing. He did nothing. 

Severus Snape literally couldn't believe it.

_IV: To He Who Waits (what’s his/her name)  
Summary: Severus Snape is a patient man. But not that patient._

Severus Snape waited. He didn't believe that Remus Lupin would go without a fight. To draw the damn Gryffindor out, he let a full moon go by with no contact. He was actually looking forward to the werewolf's retaliation. He was longing to finally get his hands on Lupin. His fingers twitched when he thought about it.

When the Dark Lord forgot Lupin's name, Severus Snape concentrated on holding his hands still. 

"Has there been any word of what's-his-name, the werewolf?"

"No, my Lord."

"Hmmm.... Well, we'll catch him sooner or later. Do you see him as a threat to us?"

"No, my Lord."

As the Dark Lord moved on to other topics, Severus didn't quite know what to do with his hands. They suddenly seemed as if they belonged to someone else.

As the next full moon approached, Severus's hands began to tremble again. Surely Lupin would come now? Would owl? Send a Howler? Every morning as the owls flew into the Great Hall, Severus would hide his hands under the table. Every day he clenched them a little harder. His nails drew blood from his palms on morning of the first day of the week before the full moon.

After breakfast he went down to his private workroom and very deliberately threw two dozen large glass beakers against the wall. Then he brewed the Wolfsbane. Perfectly.

Severus Snape was finally tired of waiting.

_V: Salt (as a city upon a hill)  
Summary: Life is to be savoured. I should have mentioned this earlier, but this series is a gift for my beloved Poultrygeist. A thank you for giving me the courage to start writing fanfic in the first place. I am using the Rare Pair Shorts prompt table 2. The prompts are the titles of the chapters, except when they aren't. Prompt for this chapter: As a city on a hill. _

Matthew 5:13: Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.

Remus Lupin was staring at the Wolfsbane Potion that Severus Snape had just handed him. 

"Did Dumbledore...?" But Lupin didn't finish that sentence. Snape's usually blank expression had contorted into one of fury. Remus was too fascinated to be frightened. 

"Regardless of your opinion of me, Lupin, I am not a puppet," Snape spat out. "I am a man."

Remus spoke softly, "I know you are."

Severus choked on his next words. He spluttered to silence as the import of Lupin's words struck him. No one thought of him that way. He was a puppet, a chess piece, a bogeyman, a greasy git, a toy. Something to be feared or to be spat upon. He couldn't remember anyone who had ever seen him as simply a man. He glared suspiciously at Lupin. Just what did the werewolf want from him?

Remus Lupin was a gentle man. He had learned, during every full moon since his childhood, that resistance and struggle only bring increased pain. But he, too, was a man. He was tired of asking for nothing, of receiving nothing. After all, he thought as he stepped forward, nothing will come of nothing. 

Severus narrowed his eyes as Lupin stepped closer to him. Trying to scare me, are you? he thought. I've faced you as a wolf. Twice. 

But Severus's sang-froid cracked when he found himself being grasped by the shoulders and pulled down into a savage kiss. It was so unexpected that at first he thought he was being bitten. Then he thought he was being mocked. Then he shoved Remus right up against the wall and kissed him back. Luckily for Lupin, Severus was a fast thinker.

Severus had no idea why Lupin would kiss him. But he was not a man who received many kisses. And he was certainly not going to pass up a chance like this. He might have the superior height and position, but Lupin was not submitting. The smaller man was really almost going wild. 

Severus found himself grabbing Remus's hair with both hands and using it to yank the man's head back against the wall. Lupin laughed at this rough treatment and Severus was surprised to feel his own mouth twisting into a feral smile. By Circe, this is actually fun! he thought as he bent down and sunk his teeth into Lupin's neck. The man was delicious. He tasted of salt and chocolate.

Remus growled as Snape bit down on his neck. He grabbed Snape's robes in his hands and ripped. Buttons flew everywhere and clattered onto the floor as Remus moved on to the waistcoat. 

Matthew 5:14: Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

_VI: Meanwhile . . . (meanwhile)  
Summary: The Dark Lord makes a decision. _

Lord Voldemort felt a twinge from Severus Snape, of all people. It was terribly unusual to feel any of this sort of activity from his dour Potions Master. With a sneer, he closed down the link even before Snape could. The Dark Lord had no time for the insipid pleasures of the flesh. His sneer softened as he considered the benefits of a better mood in one of his most valuable followers. Lucius Malfoy was still in Azkaban, where there was no doubt he belonged. The upstart had been getting too complacent. But it did leave Voldemort without any constructive input. Bella was always positive, but she was completely insane. Almost everyone else was an idiot. But a little less pessimism from Severus would certainly be welcome. Even a Dark Lord couldn't plan every damn detail of world domination by himself. Voldemort decided to ignore Severus's pleasure. For now.

_VII: And Now for Something Completely Different (and now for something completely different)  
Summary: A domestic scene that's a little . . . different. _

Remus Lupin never expected to hear Severus Snape laughing. But here he was with Snape's hand carding through his fur while the man laughed. 

"In the hard and unrelenting world of nature, the ceaseless struggle for survival continues." 

On the television set there were Muggles dressed as horses. They were kicking one another. Severus was snickering. Remus gazed up at the sight until Severus's eyes bugged out and he shouted out a great laugh. Remus turned his snout back to the television set.

"This ant is engaged in a life or death struggle with the wolf."

Remus snorted, then pushed his head more firmly against Severus's lap. He didn't see the humor in these Muggles' shenanigans, but Severus smelled good when he was laughing. Remus slowly closed his eyes as Severus's strong hands massaged him behind his ears. 

"The wolf struggles to no avail. A battle of this kind can take anything up to fifteen years because the timber ant has such a tiny mouth."

Severus was laughing so hard that he was no longer making any noise. Remus licked his hand, and wolf and man sighed with happiness.

_VIII: Quoth the Raven (quoth the raven)  
Summary: Snape and Lupin discover a shared love of literature. _

“When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes.” -Desiderius Erasmus

Spinner's End held even more books than it seemed upon first glance. Severus Snape had used Wizard Space to expand his already groaning bookshelves. Each shelf held ten times what appeared. The sitting room alone housed a mid-sized library, and that didn't include the countless books piled on the floors of every room. Reading was free, although books were not, and Remus Lupin was very familiar with the escape offered by books. He thought he could never tire of being surrounded by so many books.

Snape was not used to sharing his space with another person. He had never given the password to his library to any other. But Lupin had exposed himself to Severus over and over, trusting him with his life every time he had drunk the Wolfsbane that Severus brewed. Without Dumbledore to watch over him, there was nothing stopping Snape's hand from slipping that little bit and turning the balm into poison. Nothing except Remus's trust. So Severus had repaid that trust with access to his home and his books. He thought that he was safe, that he would never give access to his heart.

Both men were wrong.

Their shared love of literature brought many hours of debate. For while they both loved literature, they invariably loved different things about it. One of the few authors upon whom they agreed was that poor, miserable Squib, Edgar Allan Poe. After each full moon, when Severus returned to Hogwarts, Remus would seek reassurance by quoting the poet: "Other friends have flown before On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before." And always Snape would swirl in his black robes, smirking in recognition of his striking resemblance to the bird in question, and give the response, "Nevermore."

Remus really should have known that a Potions Master would take poetry quite literally.

_IX: Melting (swirling to nowhere)  
Summary: Remus Lupin has always had to maintain control. Until now._

Remus Lupin was swirling to nowhere. He was melting like chocolate. He was being consumed. He didn't know where he ended or began. It was both exciting and terrifying.

At first he and Severus only met during the week of the full moon's approach. Then they began to keep each other company during the full moon as well. Lupin spent more and more time at Spinner's End, whether or not Snape was there with him. Finally he gave up his own flat, glad to save the money. Now he was reading Severus's books, sleeping in Severus's bed, and gods save him, sniffing Severus's belongings whenever the man returned to Hogwarts. 

He had thought that Snape would resent the intrusion. Whatever their past history or their current entanglement, Severus Snape was above all a private man. Remus was not even sure why Snape had let him in, let alone why he was letting him stay. 

Maybe it was the sex. Even though the wolf only showed itself once a month, it lived within Remus all the time. This had led to problems with intimacy before. He had always had to hold back, fearing that the wolf would take over. But Severus was more than a match for the wolf. He would sometimes play along, letting Lupin dominate him. But there was no doubt who was really in charge in the bedroom. It was not Remus Lupin.

As Severus restrained him, bit him, and claimed him, Remus let his control slip away. Even as his body tensed and fought and spasmed, he melted. He was nowhere; he was everywhere. There was nowhere else he wanted to be.

_X: Falling (unidentified falling object)  
Summary: Severus Snape is disappointed. _

The seventh day before that the full moon was a Sunday. Severus Snape had completed all of his marking for the weekend while supervising his detentions on Saturday. He was excited to have a whole day to spend at Spinner's End, a relatively new and not unwelcome feeling about his lifelong home. 

He spent the day, and the night, at Spinner's End. Alone.

When he Apparated back to Hogwarts, Severus Snape told himself he felt nothing. The crashing sensation was an unidentified falling object. It was not his heart.

_XI: Black Ink (black ink)  
Summary: Severus Snape's lack of faith is punished. _

For the rest of his life, whenever Severus Snape thought of his inaction during that week when Lupin had disappeared, he would shudder. It led to many splotches of red ink, to many spilled cups of tea. It was a terrible memory. Even if they did get Teddy because of it.

He had thought that Lupin had finally tired of him and had left him. He didn't even think to look for his missing lover. He simply retreated to the Hogwarts dungeons to lick his wounds. He would never forgive himself for his deplorable lack of faith. Thank gods Remus was a better man than he.

Voldemort had thought it was hilarious to mate the werewolf. Severus had watched as Nymphadora Tonks, under the Imperius charm, had transformed into a wolf. He had watched as she presented herself to Remus on the night of the full moon. He had watched as his lover had mounted another. Death Eaters laughed all around him. He had thanked the gods for the long sleeves of his Death Eaters, as his hands tore at each other. 

In an unusual stroke of luck, as his punishment for not laughing at the Dark Lord's "joke" he was ordered to dispose of the wolves. It was almost too easy. It was more than he deserved. But he was quick and efficient for Remus's and Nymphadora's sakes. They had suffered enough.

Severus did not heal the wounds on his hands. He deserved them. He glamoured them into smudges of black ink until they eventually faded. But he kept the marks on his heart always in mind. They were a reminder never to trust that treacherous organ.

_XII: The Haunted Corner (the haunted corner)  
Summary: Severus will have to brood all by himself. _

Severus Snape kept the statue in a corner of his library. He would gaze at it when he felt haunted by what could have been. He knew that his lover hated it, both the statue and the brooding. But Remus never said a thing. He simply refused to enter into the cycle of guilt and blame, and let Severus get on with it on his own. This turned out to be an excellent way to deal with the Potions Master. Without a prod or an audience, his bitterness seemed less and less appealing. Honestly, he spent much of the time he spent in the haunted corner pondering his research. However, it suited the Slytherin not to admit this to anyone else.

The statue: Actaeon - Paul Manship, 1925

[http://americanart.si.edu/images/1965/1965.16.33_1b.jpg ](http://americanart.si.edu/images/1965/1965.16.33_1b.jpg)

_XIII: Happy Endings (only not)  
Summary: The only kind we like around here._

Remus Lupin sighed as Tonks reminded him about Teddy's nighttime routine again. He would never tell her that Teddy would sleep upside down in the closet as long as Severus read him to sleep. He kissed her on the cheek and she flooed away for a week-long holiday. Teddy had already run past him deeper into the house. Well, he knew just where he'd find him.

He stopped in the entrance to the library and soaked in the sight before him. Teddy was already snuggled into Severus's lap, showing him his latest favorite book. 

"I only like happy endings, Uncle Sev."

"Perfectly understandable, my boy."

Remus smiled and moved forward to coax his two boys out of the library. It was a beautiful, sunny Saturday. He realized that had everything he'd ever wanted, only not. He had more. 


End file.
